Tag Archives: craving

Infinitesimally Small Corridor of Shadows and Lights

How does it feel to finally have turned that corner? That elusive corner, that frustrating milestone that tantalisingly lay just out of reach. You could almost touch it with your fingertips. It’s so close that you feel it breathing on your face and yet somehow it remains out of grasp. Sheer bloodymindedness and endless gusto gets you there one day. All the pieces begin to fall into place. You almost cannot believe your fortune. Years and years of sediments of frustration and bad luck washes away and life begins to take take turn in the right direction. You motor along meeting the right people, being at the right time and right place. You find yourself saying the right thing. And “it” just happens. Those fortunate enough to experience this will tell you how ridiculously this flip side feels.  You get the right job, you meet the right girl/boy, the complications almost sort themselves out… and yet there lingers something eerie in the deepest and darkest part of your mind.

This happens to a lot of people. Smokers who have successfully quit, alcoholics who have stayed away from the bottle, addicts who have lost that craving… and yet occasionally a sliver of unconquered desire/lust/temptation (call it what you will) lures you out through the infinitesimally small corridor of shadows and lights. At times it is a slow and torturous process that one has to live through. It feels like sand slipping through fingers. Or perhaps a faint fragrance snaking through the surrounding air. Eventually it begins to tighten its slithery grip, dragging you through its slimy chambers and stimulating those hedonistic tentacles of your cells along the way.

That is the time you need to be strong. Stronger than you have ever been. A resolve of that is tougher that steel. Because once it has you out of lights and back into its shadows, it will be that much harder to rise up again. Don’t be fooled. March forward!